Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I believe in your delicious
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
