i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
