yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
