Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Randomize
