I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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