I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
he was CRYING into my vagina
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Randomize
