Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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