so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Randomize
