You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize
