Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
