I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize