he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Randomize
