I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
