I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Randomize
