and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
