I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Randomize
