omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
