Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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