go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize
