Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
