Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
