he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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