First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Randomize
