We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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