i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
