Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
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