Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
