Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
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