Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
