I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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