Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Randomize
