Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
He's on the porch naked. Help.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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