Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
