bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
