Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I just threw up on my dentist
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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