I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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