Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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