Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
