i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
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