On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I need to calm my uterus...
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
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