I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Randomize
