Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
