i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
