Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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