I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
