He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
This is not my ceiling
I haven't been this sober since birth.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
