so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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