nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Randomize
