either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Randomize
