I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
