Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
