i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize