Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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