That's intense
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
