So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Nicole vs. Life
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
