This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize
