My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
