hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I CAN MOONWALK!
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
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