We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize