Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
