I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
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