Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
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