We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
