O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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