Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize
