i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
