i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Do vagina's smell?
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Randomize
