After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
my sisters under your porch take her home
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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