i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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