She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
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